she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize