Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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