Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
