if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
