Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
