Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
