im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He shit in the fireplace
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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