they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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