all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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