You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
