tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
