I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
