I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize