i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
