Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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