In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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