Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
