What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im holly from the hills drunk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
