i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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