as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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