I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
