You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize