I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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