we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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