i was born a porn star she said
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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