Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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