awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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