Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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