ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize