It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
