you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
