My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dignity is for republicans.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
