So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
