wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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