I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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