Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
