Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
