I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
