My liver just broke up with me...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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