weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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