i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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