if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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