I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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