Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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