What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
