I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
