i just had sex bonerless
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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