I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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