Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
