She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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