Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
