Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she told me i tasted like america
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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