Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
