He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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