Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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