This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
