After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
