And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
