How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
