absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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