I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I enjoy the company of your penis
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
