Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
