drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
