Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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