the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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