He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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