is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
